Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday .gif file (we may change the title weekly)


Gifs at Giftube.com

It's Friday. Don't stop believing.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

You are very ordinary compared to this.

I like at around the 1:00 mark, how we jumps...doesn't make it...recovers...and then literally pulls this move out of his ass.

A new product for the gals wishing to sculpt their arms...



Besides the obvious enjoyment in just watching the shake weight, I like how they test it and have computer monitor hooked up to show how truly scientific it is. Further, the fact that this thing has a lifetime warranty shouldn't give you the least amount of pause. I am sure this company will be around for generations to come.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Run for the hills! It's the Grendel...


This is getting to be a bit much. She looks like a partially dissected cadaver.

Monday, July 27, 2009

impressive...


Impressive to be sure, but then you see this and it all makes sense.


these videos have been making waves on the innerwebs and we thought we would share them with you. this fella is a little athletic.

heartfelt proposal

(thanks to the Perry Bible Fellowship)

Mustache Monday


My accent after watching this photo turns strangely into an italian one...and I cannot explain it.

I know Zorro is not Italian...but the mustache sure feels Italian.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Hey little fella

This just isn't fair. Everyone else gets airbrushed. Does Georgia Bulldog's new QB Joe Cox (no, seriously that is his name) get the same consideration? I will let you judge (the answer is no).





Tell you what. Next time, just wear jeans. Or a cup. Or both. You know what, nevermind the cat kitten is out of the bag.

Friday .gif file

Like Billy Madison's Nudie Magazine Day...only without the "Shemale" and "Chicks over 80" themes.



Gifs at Giftube.com

hmm. totally stumped.


I want to hear your take on this. Me? I am going with guy. But a very unfortunate guy. If this fella had black shades and stick with a red end, I still don't think it would absolve him of a general responsibility to do better than this. Seriously? The shoes/slippers? And it isn't as though this photo is taken with him/her halfway out the door and just happened to get photo-terrorized. This...this...person is taking a stroll.

A cropped shirt? Honestly....what gives?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Russian story with a Viktor and an Olga...this cannot be happening







Meshchovsk - This is a story. A love story (e.g. Mr. Sanford knows what I am talking about). This story smells of desperation...and possibly astroglide.




The man, only known as Viktor, attempted to turn over a hairdresser in the small town of Meshchovsk on March 14. The owner, a 28 year old called Olga, agreed to handover the day's takings while employees and customers cowered in fright.


Unfortunately for Viktor, Olga was trained in Karate. As she was handing over the cash she struck him in the chest, before taking him to the ground and trussing him up with a hairdryer cord.
Olga then locked Viktor in the shop's utility room before telling colleagues she would call the police and then dismissing them.
However, she clearly thought better of it, deciding instead to strip the robber before handcuffing him to the radiator with a pair of pink frilly lined handcuffs. She then plied him with viagra and "raped" him numerous times over the following four days.
A tired and sore Viktor was finally released three days later, heading straight to the hospital for treatment for a torn frenulum (another reason to get circumcised). He then went to the police to report Olga for "actions of a sexual nature".
Shocked police then arrested Olga, who promptly reported Viktor for robbery.
“What a bastard,” Olga complained. “Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I’ve bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left.”
Apparently Viktor confirmed that he had been fed "royally" by the no-nonsense coiffeuse.
Olga and Viktor are both now apparently on charges, and hard time will no doubt be on the agenda when the cases finally reach court.




Boy meets girl. Boy tries to get over on girl, girl kicks his ass, cuffs him, rapes him, buys him clothes, gives him money and feeds him "royally." It is a story as old as the hills. Kinda melts the heart.


I love how betrayed she felt after Viktor went to the fuzz. Not to mention how after everything was said and done, Viktor had to admit that he was well fed. This sex slave thing seems to be catching on...

I was always more of a Ricky the Dragon Steamboat kinda guy...




Everyone's favorite bad boy (no, not Rodman...not Mahorn....not Laimbeer...ugh) just landed himself a dui.
L.A. City attorney has decided to file criminal charges against "Rowdy" Roddy Piper for his DUI bust earlier this month. Roddy was charged with one misdemeanor count of driving under the influence and one count of driving without a valid license stemming from a late night arrest in Hollywood on July 2nd. If the 55-year-old wrestling legend is convicted, he faces a maximum of 6 months in jail and a $1,000 fine.
I wish VH-1 would do a "where are they now" with Mean Gene Okurland.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Remember "Bad Idea Jeans"...ya....well...


Welcome Distraction


Deer on the Headlights

Unable to handle an Alaska without Sarah Palin, a northern deer makes the ultimate decision:

Free Will is Not Free License

How would the love child of Rick Astley and Courtney Love contribute to society? Is it wrong to pray for a miscarriage?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Just curious...with all the new workout regimes...


where is John Basedow?
and if you answered that he was killed by the 2004 tsunami...you would be wrong.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Your comic

(thanks to Pbfcomics.com)

The Dog Days of Summer Are Here!




Well, not if Michael Vick has anything to say about it. The Federal Bureau of Prisons unleashed Vick from electronic home monitoring on Monday. (Reuters).



No word on how Vick intends to spend his days, but my money is on the heavily scarred 53 pound pit from Hackensack.

Alien Obama

Rep. Mike Castle recently held a town hall meeting attended by at least one luminary proclaiming that Barack Obama is an alien. And by alien I mean from Kenya. The argument is persuasive.

To prove that Obama is an alien, she brought her own birth certificate as evidence. And by proving that she has a birth certificate, not only does she conclusively establish that Obama has no birth certificate, she also proves that Obama was born in Kenya. Pow!

To drive home the point, she placed her birth certificate inside a protective sleeve, which reveals the invisible ink connecting the gaps in her logic. She also waved a smallish American flag, made reference to "The Grestest Generation," and her father, a veteran, whose birth certificate was mysteriously absent from the proceedings.

Sarah Palin Says the Most Ridiculous Things

"Nobody should have hurt feelings. My goodness, this is politics! Politics is rough-and-tumble, and people need to get thick skin - just like I've got," - soon-to-be-ex Gov. Sarah Palin, in a Nov. 5, 2008 interview recently uploaded to Vimeo.

Harry Potter Rakes in Billions

No big surprise. Hey look, Emma Watson . . .


. . . did I mentioned that she's 19?


Mustache Monday

go Ken.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Your friday .gif




We have never been accused of being classy.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Caption Contest

Perhaps you all have already seen this. I had not. But it is glorious.

Caption Contest


Perhaps you all have already seen this. I had not. But it is glorious.

Welcome Distraction


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Cause the boys in the hood are always hard



-you know the next line.

despite the guy having douche sunglasses and wearing said douche sunglasses in a doucherific fashion, he definitely pulled her card.

We don't endorse or support violence against women, but this wasn't violence and this wasn't women (she was alone).

Monday, July 13, 2009

Mustache Monday

It's eery huh?







Friday, July 10, 2009

Pretty ready for college football


you can figure out why.
bless her heart.

.gif files will amuse and battle for top billing on Fridays

Q and A with Juxtaposably.

You guys are doing this Every Friday?

of course not.

Why not?

because we are lazy, that's why.

Are they really battling it out?

in our mind, the girl from last friday (6/10/2009)has already sewn it up, but why don't we at least have fun trying?



Thursday, July 9, 2009

Lame joke of the week

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"

"I remember my first bottle of scope"


This was too good, I had to share the whole story.
The Observer
Editor’s note: This story contains disturbing material. Reader discretion is advised.
A man drunk on mouthwash who performed oral sex on his unconscious sister in Rainbow Park was sentenced to jail-time served and three years probation Tuesday in Sarnia court.
The 38-year-old pleaded guilty to committing an indecent act May 4 in the south Christina Street park.
A publication ban was imposed to protect the sister’s identity.
The man doesn’t recall the incident but didn’t dispute it occurred, based on a witness’s statement.
A family visiting the park about 6:30 p.m. came upon the couple on a park bench, police had reported earlier.
Defence lawyer Robert McFadden noted his client was incomprehensible when arrested because he and his sister had been drinking alcohol-laced mouthwash.
The woman was intoxicated and unconscious throughout the incident.
The mother of the pair told McFadden she hopes her son didn’t realize the woman was his sister. She called it the low point in her son’s life of alcohol abuse, the lawyer said.

um...you think?

“I can’t imagine it could get any lower,” replied Justice Mark Hornblower, who agreed with McFadden it was a “disgusting” act.
McFadden said the man is ashamed of what he did and has asked his mother and sister for forgiveness.
“I believe the family can work through this,” he said.
The man told the court, ”I am going to have to live with this . . . I need to get help.”
Hornblower sentenced him to the 64 days served in pre-sentence custody and the maximum allowable probation term of three years.
He directed the man to get help for alcohol abuse, including enrolment in a residential treatment centre.
He can have no contact with the witness who reported the incident or his sister, unless the sister gives written consent to a probation officer.
He is also banned from any public park if he has been drinking.
“It’s not for the public to have your problem imposed on them,” Hornblower said.


Well, at least his breath was minty fresh.
I like the "he is banned from any public park IF HE HAS BEEN DRINKING." Look, I think we can all agree that this fella isn't making the most informed and coherent decisions while drinking. Perhaps he should be tethered if he PLANS on drinking. Or better yet...just take it down a notch.




old video of cyclist takes us all back to the goonies




You remember right?
When Mikey's older brother was supposed to be watching them and the Goonies bound him up with exercise equipment and slashed his tires. Then little girl bike...cliff...you remember. You know who played his older brother? A young and virile Josh Brolin(I just found out this fact a few weeks ago).

speaking of movies and cycling (not really), who saw American Flyers? Like anyone will admit that.

Dedication


I miss football, perhaps not as much as these two

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Minneapolis follows it's billing as #2 healthiest city by putting on pajamas and hitting the 'sizzler'




Minneapolis came in 2nd to Colorado Springs in a recent who's who of America's fittest cities.
They celebrated this great news by doing what every glutton with low self esteem does. Eating an entire bucket of KFC because they walked to their car earlier in the day.
Introducing the ALL YOU CAN EAT SEATS!!!!!

AP
While the Minnesota Twins prepared to play the Cleveland Indians on a recent evening, a few hundred fans were getting ready for a night-long contest of their own — a race to empty out the concession stands before they closed.
"I've done four hot dogs, three nachos, a pretzel, some popcorn and about four of these pops," said Charlie Romain, proudly treating himself to an early 22nd birthday feast. "It's only been an hour, but I'm digesting a bit right now."
High above third base, Sections 232 and 233 have been turned into all-you-can-eat seats for 10 Tuesdays this season. So far, about one-third of the 600 available tickets have been sold for each of the special nights.

Awesome. Because a good idea can't go unpunished, several other MLB teams are following suit. Pittsburgh Pirates, Texas Rangers and Baltimore Orioles are all planning to give their fans diabetes similar promotions. You would think this would be the sort of promotion reserved for the single A team in Waxahomeboggan...it isn't.

Those single A teams are putting oversized asses in their seats and catering to a female demographic by doing the exact opposite.

Free Lipo!
seriously.

No Bullshit, this is happening in Niles, OH
The Mahoning Valley Scrappers and Valley Surgical Arts will be giving away a liposuction treatment to one lucky lady during the July 8th Scrappers game against the Auburn Doubledays.


Please combine these promotions. For me.



This wasn't even close to the

worst photo I could find.

stupid golf tricks (it is your call as to whether the "trick" is a who or a what)


EMBED-Hot Girl Pulls Off Insane Golf Trick Shot

ugh. I cant even pull my clubs from the bag without tripping and looking like an uncordinated ass.

Kim Jong Il has something in common with Lindsay Lohan

No...he hasn't had a stint of lesbian (although he looks like one)

No...he hasn't suffered irreparable career setbacks (although he kinda has)























hint: (it's the weight loss)

Caption Contest


Caption away. It is going to be tough.

Welcome Distraction




Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Tuesday Tattoo

I guess someone is a fan of someone else.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Great .gif strikes again






Mustache Monday

Jake the snake with a stache? Shocking, we know.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

not bad


I guess having those helps.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

"don't make me shit on your back...after I knock you out"


"During the confrontation, Duvall knocked Hacker out of a chair, then kicked her in the head, causing her to lose consciousness. While Hacker was unconscious, Duvall defecated on Hacker’s back.
When Hacker regained consciousness, she and Duvall began to hit each other and wrestled one another to the ground. The altercation stopped momentarily, but started again when Duvall was told to leave the residence. Duvall bit Hacker on her bottom lip, causing a one-inch cut. Hacker grabbed a steel pan and struck Duvall five times
."


wow.

I like how after she shits on the back...she sticks around. She was lucky that it was steel and that momma didn't bring the iron skillet or dutch oven (it was way too easy).

Friday, July 3, 2009

This makes me feel so much better about myself

How does this disturb me? Let me count the ways:

1) the fact that it looks as though he has somehow figured a way to use his armpit to wipe his ass;

2) the fact that this ever seemed like a good idea;

3) he is alone and by all reasonable inferences...sober;

4) the ticking of the clock;

5) the wonderful artwork on the wall that reminds of the abandoned conference room;

6) the fact that he finds the need to get that close to the camera (wouldn't a mirror have been just as informative or was this necessary to win Copenhagen's free 2 night trip to Branson?).

Thursday, July 2, 2009

yep.



clearly he was moved into giving by the holy spirit. or the music. or pcp. I guess if you are going to bring it...best if you bring it strong at the church.
"it is a mystery why brother franklin is still single"
speaking of singles, one wonders what we might get if he were to drop a ten spot in the offering.

lame joke of the week

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."



Priest: "What have you done my child?"



Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."



Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"



Girl: "Because he touched my hand."



Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)



Girl: "Yes father."



Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."



Girl: "Then he touched my breast."



Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)



Girl: "Yes father."



Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."



Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."



Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)



Girl: "Yes father."



Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."



Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."



Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)



Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"




Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."



Girl: "But father he had the herpes!"



Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Magical.


EMBED-Drunk Girl Smashes Her Face - Watch more free videos

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

MJ...that sucks, Farrah...kinda saw it coming, but Billy Mays?


seriously

Caption Contest


still better than English food.

Quick aside to our devoted readers

(maybe the two of you...God that is optimistic).

BOB boblaw is going back to work.

This guy has nerves of steel, best of the worst men

so good in fact, I expect him to rival "boom goes the dynamite" guy on t.v. someday.
strong work. There is only one way to do a toast....
1) take down 16 vodka tonics
2) ask your mom if you "seem okay enough to make a toast"
3) rain success down on everyone as you let adrenaline and liquor do the rest



seriously...khaki pants?

Welcome Distraction












































This is a megan fox lovefest for obvious reasons. we will try to raise the bar from here on out but she does make it difficult.