The robber's threatening note made a Chicago bank job easy to solve: The FBI says the suspect wrote it on his pay stub. An FBI affidavit said the man walked into a Fifth Third Bank on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot."
The robber got about $400 but left half of his note. Investigators found the other half outside the bank's front doors. Authorities say that part of the man's October pay stub had his name and address.
The suspect was arrested at his Cary home. A judge ordered him held without bond Monday. If convicted of bank robbery, he faces 20 years in prison.
If convicted? Anyone else puzzled how this criminal mastermind could have written out such a terrible note? There is one way to do a bank job and make people proud of your bank-robbing prowess. Go Eazy or go home:
This is a stick-up, everybody get face-down
Ren, gag their mouths so they can't make a sound
Tie em up for the fact that I'm kickin ass
I got my hand on my gat, and I'm tempted to blast
My name is Eazy, but I go the hard way out
This ain't personal, but now I'm about
to commit a crime and go thru with it
You know what, no need for shakin, because I'm used to it
Take out the security guard with a slap of my hand
Yeah, he's wearin' a badge, but he's a ol ass man
Pump his ass in the head, and take his gun so me and the punk can go one on one
Cover the lens on the TV screen
you know, so me and my gang just can't be seen.
This is how you do it folks. Admittedly, it does help if you have an MC Ren.
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