Follow up...Somali "pirates" and mace bandits

Times

Open sea pirates? pfff.

I know someone who wouldn't take shit off any pirates. [pictured left]

Further, perhaps these pirates are using some firepower to overtake these vessels...but have you seen the size of some of these vessels? They aren't small. [front view, perhaps stretched a bit more than necessary]

To me...getting hijacked in the above ship is like getting pulled over in your car by a cop standing on the sidewalk. Or getting held up by a midget wielding a supersoaker. That is your own fault.

On a totally separate note, I saw a headline "mace-wielding robber." Unable to contain my excitement, I clicked on the article from the Greeley Tribune (seriously?)...only to find colossal disappointment:

1) don't ever use the term 'wielding' if it isn't going to be something pretty cool (like a supersoaker);

2) you can't use the term 'wielding' with the word 'mace' and not have readers expect medieval carnage or hilarity to ensue;

3) just write "pepper spray" you a-holes.

The fact that I was duped by the Greeley Tribune hurts. But it hurts so much more that I never found out about the robber my brain concocted. The robber that walked brazenly into a bank with a huge spiked ball on the end of a chain and went postal on all kinds of bank equipment that I have never even heard of. The robber that became my hero. Damn you Greeley. Damn you.