Seriously?

Things have gotten bad, I guess.
Michigan man arrested for 'receiving sexual favors from a vacuum' at a local car wash.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.

a few things here.

6:45 a.m.? This is just a head scratcher for me.

[yawn] get up, take shower, get dressed, go by starbucks, hit the donut shop, cruise by the laundromat to masturbate on top of a dryer during the spin cycle and then find my favorite vacuum 'sheryl' at the local car wash and give get sexual favors.

this fella has got some gumption. I would have to set my alarm for 5:00 a.m. to get all those activities done in time (depending on the vacuum).

*I like how the vacuum 'gave' sexual favors. You

are a dirty, naughty vacuum. This is the

kind of vacuum that has a discrete piercing hidden somewhere

out of public view. The kind of vacuum that listens

to Portishead while it sucks.