This makes me feel so much better about myself

How does this disturb me? Let me count the ways:

1) the fact that it looks as though he has somehow figured a way to use his armpit to wipe his ass;

2) the fact that this ever seemed like a good idea;

3) he is alone and by all reasonable inferences...sober;

4) the ticking of the clock;

5) the wonderful artwork on the wall that reminds of the abandoned conference room;

6) the fact that he finds the need to get that close to the camera (wouldn't a mirror have been just as informative or was this necessary to win Copenhagen's free 2 night trip to Branson?).